


What Was Lost

by Turwaithiel_Rainscent



Category: Farscape
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, F/M, I mean, I really think that season 4 episode 2 and 3 were really bad for John Crichton, John doesn't trust anyone, John feels betrayed, John has thoughts, John in his module, John is thoughtful, John wants to be alone, Just in my opinion, Like, aftermath of noncon, aftermath of season 4 episode 3, and i thought i was mean to my characters, because they both kinda went through the same thing, i felt really bad for john, just saw this episode, might want to write him and Chiana's conversation later, nope - Freeform, the Farscape writers were really mean to john, the acting was very good in these last two episodes, the way that he acted in this episode was like he was just disgusted with life and wanted to die, too many tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-12 13:21:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19132864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turwaithiel_Rainscent/pseuds/Turwaithiel_Rainscent
Summary: In the aftermath of Season 4 Episode 3: What Was Lost: Resurrection, John Crichton thinks about everything while being towed behind Ka D'Argo's ship.





	What Was Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Rated T for implications of things.

John Crichton followed along behind D'Argo's ship just idling. He felt...well, he felt rough. He also wanted to be alone. These last few days have just been...well, they had just been invasive as hell. He was tired of these women...these aliens manipulating his senses and his body like he was some kind of plaything. 

He didn't so much feel mad about everything as...exhausted and sort of viscerally betrayed. He felt like he had barely gotten off the planet alive (which was true) and he also felt like he needed an extremely long bath in extremely hot water to get all of...her...off of him. He supposed that once he got back aboard Moya that he would be able to do that. Now that he was away from her and...well, away from everyone else, he could smell whatever that pheromone bullshit that she had used on him was. It was kind of musky but also sweet at the same time. The after-smell of it kind of made him sick. 

Better not puke in the module, though. He didn't know how long it would take to clean all that out. Not that he had eaten much the last couple of days anyway. Would anything even come out if he did puke? He had no idea, but he didn't want to test it. 

He also felt so sore. Well, he had jumped off of a cliff...twice. The second time he was just like "fuck it" and jumped in after Winona...which was firmly attached to him now, thankyouverymuch. He really had to get some more bullets once he got somewhere to get more bullets. Or...oil...or whatever. Pulse pistols weren't real guns, they used different ammo. Duh.

And what about Scorpius? He had been little better than a dog the way that he had been on a leash and such. Was he dead? 'Well, you saw him buried, didn't you?' He heard himself say in his head. Well, yeah, he had seen him buried, but things always seemed to work out for Scorpy. He could still be alive for all John knew. What had they done to him exactly? Maybe it was better if he didn't know.

"John? You there?" 

"Yeah. What's up, Chi?" 

"I just wanted to know if you're alright?"

"I'm fine. Just need a shower and some sleep I think."

"Yeah...If you want to talk about it-"

"Not now, Chiana...but...thanks."

"No problem."

Chiana. He liked her a bit. He didn't know what to think about her new abilities with seeing the future, though. Was that normal for her species? 

He stretched looking out of the module at the stars. The stars... wormholes. He would have to start writing the formulas down again. He kind of grinned in a sad way. Maybe this time he could get a notebook or something. He hadn't encountered an old fashioned notebook in...well since he had been out here in the Uncharted Territories. Did everyone just leave everything in their brains out here? 

No wonder everything was frelled. 

Speaking of frelled, Aeryn. Why had she not told him she was with child? What had she been thinking? That child was theirs...well, had his DNA at least. Shouldn't he at least be a godfather or something to them? It was so confusing, and he was so sad that he missed all of that. He missed basically what he had wanted all along... a relationship with Aeryn and... well. He sighed. Maybe it would be a long time until they found Moya? Maybe. 

"John?"

"Yeah, D'Argo?"

"We're going to have some food. You want some?"

"Nah. I'm okay."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'll eat in a little while. Don't want to get space sick out here."

"But you don't get space sick."

"I could start."

Food seemed gross right now. He needed...time. Just time to process, and also to be alone. At least when he was alone no one could mess with him...with his DNA, or pheromones, or anything. 

He owned himself when he was alone. And that was good enough for him for now.

**Author's Note:**

> I might actually continue this later with John and Chiana's conversation. It kinda depends on what happens in Season 4 Episode 4. Thanks for reading!


End file.
